TFA Public Service Annoucements
by Haluwasa2
Summary: Professor Sumdac wants the transformers to do some Public Service Announcements. What could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah...everything. One-shot. Funny scripts. TFA. Rated K plus for slight language in a song.


Transformers Animated Public Service Announcements… What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

PSA #1:

Sari: *wearing a beret* Are you guys ready?

Bumblebee: What are we doing again?

Sari: My dad wants you guys to do some Public Service Announcements.

Bumblebee: Which are…?

Sari: You're telling stupid kids not to do bad things.

Bumblebee: Let them make their own mistakes for all I care.

Sari: BUMBLEBEE!

Bulkhead: *walks onscreen* Sari, how do I turn on the camera.

Sari: It's already on, Bulkhead. See the flashing light?

Bulkhead: Oh…

Sari: *walks behind camera* Lights! Camera! Action!

Bumblebee: What does that mean?

Sari: Just start reading the script.

Bumblebee: Okay…um… Do not play with guns. They can hurt and kill you. Plus, they might be G1 Megatron in disguise!

Sari: BUMBLEBEE!

Bumblebee: What? They could.

Bulkhead: My turn. Along those lines, do not play with missiles, canons, shuriken, axes, grenades, bombs, heavily armed weapons, swords, nun chucks, and weapons of mass destruction.

Bumblebee: 'Cause _everyone_ has those lying around their house. You know what? Kids, if you do find those things lying around your house then go outside and shoot down some Decepticons!

Sari: BUMBLEBEE!

Bumblebee: What?

Sari: Cut. This whole thing will not end well.

PSA #2:

(Prowl and Jazz are in the shot. Sari is behind the camera.)

Sari: And… Action!

Prowl: So, I'm Prowl.

Jazz: And I'm Jazz.

Prowl: And we're here to talk about ninjutsu. Ninjutsu

Jazz: Although uber awesome.

Prowl: Uber?

Jazz: Yeah, I heard some kid on the street say it.

Prowl: If that kid jumped off a cliff would you jump too?

Jazz: Nah, dude, I'm not Cliffjumper.

Prowl: You're missing the point. You shouldn't just do something just because someone says it's cool.

Jazz: Who do you think you are? My mother?

Prowl: First of all. I'm. A. GUY! I can't be your mother.

Jazz: Says you. Can you prove it?

Prowl: Second of all, FREAK!

Sari: Guys, the script. Ninjutsu, honor, not to be imitated.

Prowl & Jazz: *Embarrassed* Right…

Sari: Idiots.

Prowl: Okay. So Ninjutsu although _uber_ awesome apparently, is a very honor bound system. It should not be imitated or made fun of.

Jazz: The weapons should not be used. You can actually kill someone.

Prowl: Plus, if you go to a Ninja Convention, you should not go there and scream "Where's Prowl?!', 'Where's Jazz?!', and or 'Where's Master Yoketron?!' You can seriously offend… wait, wait, wait. Ninja Convention?

Sari: I don't know! I didn't write this!

Jazz: You should also know that samurai and ninja are complete opposites. So, Prowl is full of contradictions.

Prowl: First of all, I'm still a ninja. Second of all, the stupid toymakers just put that on the box/toy because they apparently don't know anything about the Japanese warrior ways!

Jazz: You know you love it. One of the pictures on the Transformers Wiki has a comment that reads: 'Let's forget that ninjas and samurais are polar opposites and bask in the total awesomeness that is Samurai Prowl.' Plus, you, me, and Bumblebee are probably the TFA Transformers with fangirls.

Prowl: Wrong. The Jet twins definitely have fangirls and I know Blitzwing has fangirls.

Jazz: Blitzwing has fangirls?

Prowl: I don't get it either! I think it's because he has the three face thing.

Jazz: Yeah, girls love the mechs with mental issues.

Prowl: No, it's more or less because Random Blitzwing gives everyone a good laugh and he's for some reason awesome.

Jazz: Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you. I found this video on Youtube of him singing that 'Happy Song'. You know the one that goes '_I am very happy 'cause theirs only one of me! Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy the people are jealous of me!_'

(Both begin to sing)

Both: '_When I'm sad and lonely I like to sing this song. It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long! Oh, oh, oh. I'm so happy, I can barely breathe. Puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens, baby teeth. Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy as hardcore. Happy as a coupon for a twenty dollar whore. I'm really happy. I'm sugar coated me. Happy, good, anger, bad that's my philosophy. I can't do this, man. I'm not happy. I am really special because there's only one of me! Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy that people are jealous of me! These are my lovehandels and this is my spout. And if you tip me over then Mama said knock you out. I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave. Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave. I am happy, I am good, I am… I'm outta here! Screw you!_'

(Pan over to a laughing Bumblebee on the ground)

Bumblebee: Oh… my spark! *laughing hard*

(Pans back over to Prowl and Jazz)

Prowl: Okay, so don't imitate ninjutsu and don't sing the 'Happy Song' by Liam Lynch without checking if someone immature is the room.

Jazz: Oh, and don't do something just because someone says it's cool. Prowl, dude! We covered three in one PSA! Alright! This is uber awesome.

Prowl: *hums*

Jazz: *Flies across the room because of Prowl's Processor over Matter* *Lands on a still laughing, still on the floor Bumblebee* OW!

Sari: Oh my God! CUT!

PSA #3:

Optimus: *messing with camera lens till it is center* Um, so Sari wants me to do a PSA of my choice while she's out at Five Banners Roller Coaster Kingdom. So my PSA is about Sentinel Prime. It's a test called: Fact or Fiction. Fiction: Sentinel Prime truly has a good side. He will eventually give up on Elita One/ Blackarchnia and become friends with Optimus once more. He is not a total jerk and the Jet Twins respect him. All he really needs is a girl friend, maybe Red Alert. He is allowed to say 'Transform and Roll Out!' Fact: Sentinel Prime will never have a good side. He does not want to be my friend again and while Elita One/ Blackarachnia will be mine; he will not give her up. He is the King of Jerks. The Jet twins used to worship him, but we informed them different and they soon found out the truth. Red Alert has put a restraining order on him along with ten other femmes. He was allowed to say 'Transform and Roll Out', but Ultra Magnus and I had a little talk and now only Ultra Magnus, Rodimus Prime, and I are allowed to say it. In fact, Sentinel's lucky he can still work with us.

Sentinel: You can't say that stuff about me!

Optimus: Yes, I can.

Sentinel: I out to court-martial you!

Optimus: *throws ax at Sentinel's arm and it gets lodged in there*

Sentinel: Hey, that's my bad arm! The one you ripped off when you fought Headmaster! *struggles to take out ax and falls on the floor. When he manages to get it off his arm comes of as well* SLAG!

Optimus: *grabs his ax and Sentinel's arm and begins to hit Sentinel with it* Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

Sentinel: *Slaps arm away. Arm flies across room and breaks camera.* Oops… *camera fuzzes out*

PSA #4:

Sari: *fixing her new camera so till it is center* Okay, Ratchet. Now that I have my new camera, we can shoot your PSA.

Ratchet: How did the camera break?

Sari: I don't know. Optimus said something about a 'Fact or Fiction' test and Sentinel's severed arm. So, I'm putting full blame on Sentinel. *Sari walks behind camera* Action.

Ratchet: Don't steal cars. There I'm done. Can I go now? I'm taking Arcee out for dinner.

Sari: No. You have to state reasons why.

Ratchet: It's bad. Now can I go?

Sari: No. Read the script.

Ratchet: Fine. You should not steal cars because it is wrong. Those cars belong to people or are robots in disguise.

Sari: Ratchet you ad-libbed.

Ratchet: Well, they could! And if they tried to drive them the actual robot would get upset or something and buck them out. Especially if they were a Con! Did you know that I once helped a Decepticon? I was so stupid when I was young just like every other bot. His name was Oil Slick! Tried to freeze me in Cosmic Rust, he did! Did you know that my friend was frozen by Cosmic Rust? It all started nine million stellar cycles ago (begins to ramble about crap)

Sari: Ratchet, shut-up!

Ratchet: Don't tell me to shut-up, you whipper snapper!

Sari: Who says that! *Sari walks out from behind the camera and begins to argue with Ratchet*

Arcee: *walks into shot* Don't steal cars because people will be upset with you even if you return it. Now, Ratchet, Sari, calm down. Ratchet, did you take your pills? *turns off camera*

PSA #5:

(The Jet twins are in the shot. Sari is behind the camera.)

Sari: Action!

Jetstorm: Brother and I are here to talk about imitable, but dangerous stunts.

Jetfire: I wanted to talk about not whizzing on electric fence, but Brother said 'No.'

Jetstorm: Because it is stupid idea!

Jetfire: No, it's not! You could electrocute self!

Jetstorm: Could not!

Jetfire: Could so!

Jetstorm: Could not!

Jetfire: Could so! (continues until Sari yells some colorful words at them)

Jetstorm: You better not let Professor-man hear you talk like that.

Sari: Shut-up and get on with the stunt talk.

Jetfire: Fine. *sighs* Roll clip! *clip plays of imitable stunts*

Jetstorm: You can hurt yourself in many if you imitate stunts. Such as this. *Jetstorm transforms into jet mode and Jetfire climbs on. Jetfire falls off.*

Jetfire: Ow… Or these *they begin to do stunts in which they hurt themselves painfully. After five minutes they lay in crumpled heaps in the floor, moaning)

Sari: Idiots. You didn't have to do the stunts! We have clips for that!

Jetfire: No one

Jetstorm: ever told us.

Sari: RATCHET! Cut.

PSA #6:

(Bumblebee is in shot and Sari… is behind the camera again. She will always be behind the camera unless I say she isn't so I'll just stop typing it.)

Bumblebee: Don't run away from home. You can hurt your parents' feelings. (Rolls optics and realizes something) You know what? I don't care if you run away! Make your parents upset! They probably deserve it! I'm only doing this PSA to honor my G1 counterpart who did the 'Don't run away from home' PSA back in 1985! If fact, run away! You can all come to me! You want to know why? Because I am the Dark Prince of Awesome and I will rule my kingdom with Rock n' Roll! We will be a powerful child and teen army defying mean adults and Decpticons alike! We will tell everyone the truth! Like how Tracks is gay no matter what the Transformers Wiki says! And Sentinel Prime has won the 'Jerk of the Year' award every stellarcycle since he was three! And although classic, 80s animation sucks! And another thing-!

Sari: *Has been yelling 'Bumblebee' louder and louder since he began his tirade* BUMBLEBEE! FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS! SHUT THE HECK UP!

Bumblebee: No you shut-up! I never wanted to do this in the first place! Your dad forced us into doing this! So don't talk to me! Don't talk to me, you techno-organic freak! I don't love you no matter what fan speculators say! It's more like a brother/sister relationship!

Sari: *about to burst into tears because of the 'techno-organic freak' part* I _**HATE**_ you! *runs off*

Bumblebee: Sari…Sari…, come back. Please. I didn't mean it. This is why you should think before you say anything. Now that's something you should put in a PSA. *grabs camera* *runs around base looking for Sari* Sari… where are you? I'm really sorry. I need to think before I speak. Sari! *hears crying from Prowl's room* *enters to see Sari hiding in Prowl's tree with Prowl trying to get her down*

Prowl: Nice going.

Bumblebee: Sari, I didn't mean it. I think the fact that you're a techno-organic is cool. And both you and I know we don't have feelings for each other.

Sari: *throws energy ball at Bumblebee*

Bumblebee: Okay, I admit, I deserve that.

Sari: *slides down tree* Okay, you're forgiven, Dark Prince of Awesome.

Prowl: Dark Prince of Awesome?

Bumblebee: Well…

Prowl: Never mind. I don't want to know.

Sari: And…cut!

PSA #7:

(Optimus, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Bulkhead, the jet twins, Jazz, Prowl, and Sentinel who's arm is in a sling. They are on set with a table full of rubber foods.)

Bumblebee: What's all this for.

Sari: You're doing a PSA on the five food groups.

Ratchet: There are five on Earth?

Sari: *slaps her head* Yes…

Bulkhead: I don't see why we have to do another one.

Sari: Because yours ended up with Bumblebee telling kids to use guns and dangerous weapons. The second one ended up with Jazz and Prowl getting off topic and singing the 'Happy Song' by Liam Lynch. The third was just Optimus dissing Sentinel and then they break my camera. The fourth one was just Ratchet complaining. The fifth one was the Jet twins being stupid. And the last one was Mr. Dark Prince of Awesome here telling kids to run away.

Optimus: Dark Prince of Awesome?

Bumblebee: *has been bouncing a rubber apple and hasn't been paying attention* What?

Sari: Someone take that thing away from him. He'll break my camera.

Bumblebee: I think Sentinel's face is already capable of doing.

Sentinel: HEY! I out to-

Jazz: We know, we know, court marshal him.

Sari: Action!

Jetfire: Okay… does any bot know five food groups?

Bumblebee: Umm… Chinese, Italian, Native American-

Prowl: Those are ethnicities, Bumblebee. The five food groups are grains, fat and sugar, meat and fish, dairy, and fruits and veggies.

Bumblebee: How do you know?

Prowl: Okay then. What's in the Native American group?

Bumblebee: Um… Maize, hominy, mush, umm… I think succotash.

Prowl: Do you even know what succotash is.

Bumblebee: No.

Prowl: *Groans* *picks up a rubber loaf of bread* This is from the grains group.

Jazz: *picks up rubber cheese* This uber food…

Prowl: *glares*

Jazz: Is from the dairy group.

Bumblebee: *picks up a tomato* This is a vegetable.

Prowl: It's a fruit.

Bumblebee: Vegetable.

Prowl: Fruit.

Bumblebee: Vegetable!

Prowl: Fruit!

Bumblebee: I am the Dark Prince of Awesome and the Dark Prince of Awesome says it's a vegetable!

Prowl: The Dark Prince of Awesome is wrong!

Bumblebee: The Dark Prince of Awesome is NEVER wrong!

Prowl: *groans and walks away, angrily*

Ratchet: Young bots today with all their yelling!

Bumblebee: You yell as much as we do!

Ratchet: Do not!

Bumblebee: Do so!

Ratchet: Do not!

Bumble: Do so!

Sentinel: Stop acting like sparklings and get on with it!

Ratchet: Fine *picks up a rubber chicken [and I'm talking about those squeaky toys here that people use in comedy]* I think this is from the meat group.

Jetstorm: And I think that's still alive.

Jetfire: Brother, they were never alive. They are rubber.

Optimus: *picks up rubber ice cream cone* This is from the fats and sugars group.

Sentinel: No, it's dairy.

Optimus: It's fats and sugars.

Sentinel: Dairy!

Optimus: Fats in sugars!

Sentinel: DAIRY!

Optimus: FATS AND SUGARS!

Sari: It's both!

O.P.&S.P.: Oh…

Bumblebee: *begins dribbling a rubber grapefruit* Hey, guys! Basketball!

Jetfire: I want Bumblebee's team!

Jazz: I call other captain, dig.

Jetstorm: I want Jazz team! *they begin to play*

(Five minutes later. The gave has grown to Jazz's team (Jazz, Jetstorm, and Bulkhead) vs. Bumblebee's team (Bumblebee, Jetfire, and Optimus). Prowl enters with a massive dictionary.)

Prowl: What the…? What's going on here?

Bumblebee: We're playing, you wiener head. *throws basketball aka rubber grapefruit at Prowl's head and it bounces back to him* *laughs hysterically*

Prowl: Hey! *Drops dictionary and chases Bumblebee around*

Bumblebee: *knocks into Sentinel and knocks Sentinel's arm off* Whoops. *begins running around again*

Sentinel: Not again.

Bumblebee: *trips over dictionary* What's this thing for?

Prowl: *picks it up* To prove to you that a tomato is a fruit! *opens dictionary* See!

Bumblebee: What do you know? It is a fruit.

Jazz: Tuity fruity on you! Tuity fruity on you!

Sari: Cut, please. For sanity's sake!

PSA # 8:

(Jetfire is in shot. Sari is in another room not knowing what is going on.)

Jetfire: I have very important message for you! Do not whiz on electric fence. You will be electrocuted. It will be full of pain. You may die. That is why you do not whiz on electric fence.

Sari: *Has come out of other room* JETFIRE! Get away from my camera! *Jetfire turns off camera. You can bet he ran away.*

PSA# 9:

(Jetfire and Bumblebee are singing and dancing. They do not notice Sari behind the camera.)

Both: '_Now that we're men, we can do anything. Now that we're men, we are invincible. Now that we're men, we'll go to Shell City. Get the crown, save the town and Mr. Krabs. Now that we're men, we have facial hair. Now that we're men, I change my underwear. Now that we're men, we have a manly flair. We've got the stuff; we're tough enough to save the day! We never had a chance when we were kids, no no no. But take a look at what we've already did, ha ha ha. Now that we're men, we can't bother them. Now that we're men, they have become our friends. Now that we're men, there'll be a happy end. They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown. They'll pass the test. And finish the quest. They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!_'

Sari: While, I enjoyed the performance, boys. We have to start.

Bumblebee: How long were you there?

Sari: Since '_Now that we're men, we can do anything._'

BB&JF: Oh…

Sari: But your song does have to do with the PSA topic.

Jetfire: What is PSA topic?

Sari: Puberty. I don't even know if that qualifies as PSA topic. Action.

Bumblebee: Uh… Puberty is like this. *rolls clip from Beast Wars. It is 'Feral Screams Part II'. The clip ends with Rattrap saying "Ah, joy, cyber puberty."*

Jetfire: Uh… not quite. You suffer from…um… stuff. Body odor, I guess.

Bumblebee: Uh, pimples and…um…acne.

Jetfire: And girls get…uh… oh… Sari! This is awkward! Can we just another song?

Bumblebee: I second that.

Sari: Approved. I'm with you guys. Let me sing too! *She runs on screen*

(They begin to sing 'The Sailor Song' by Toy-Box')

All three: '_So if we all come together we know what to do! We all come together just to sing we love you. And if we all come together we know what to do. We all come together just for you!_

Sari: _Racing all around the seven seas. Chasing all the girls and making robberies. 'Causing panic everywhere they go. Party-Hardy on Titanic._

BB&JF: _Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing. Drinking, drinking, 'till the ship is sinking. Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing._

Sari: _Come let us sing the sailor song!_

All three: _So if we all come together we know what to do! We all come together just to sing we love you. And if we all come together we know what to do. We all come together just for you!_

Sari: _Sailor man, you really turn me on. Now the guys are gone, come and let us get it on. Girls like me are pretty hard to find. So if you go, I'll kick your heinie._

BB&JF: _Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing. Drinking, drinking, 'till the ship is sinking. Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing._

Sari: _Come let us sing the sailor song!_

All three: _So if we all come together we know what to do! We all come together just to sing we love you. And if we all come together we know what to do. We all come together just for you!_

Sari: _Now, let's fight!_

Jetfire: _That's not a knife! This is a knife!_

Sari: _Eek!_

BB&JF: _Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing. Drinking, drinking, 'till the ship is sinking. Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing._

Sari: _Come let us sing the sailor song!_

All three: _So if we all come together we know what to do! We all come together just to sing we love you. And if we all come together we know what to do. We all come together just for you!_

Bumblebee: _I'm king of the world! Woo-hoo!_

Sari: _Wow, this is great!_

Jetfire: _Yeah, baby, you can sail my ship!_

All three: _So if we all come together, we know what to do. We all come together just for you…Yeah._'

Sari: Cut!

Aftermath:

(The transformers, Sari, Professor Sumdac, and Captain Fanzone watch the PSAs. They end.)

Sumdac: Those were terrible, no offense.

Fanzone: They were pretty funny.

Sumdac: Yes, they were. And I think Sari, Jetfire, and Bumblebee should invest in making a music video.

Bumblebee: Oh yeah! Because we are the Dark Princes and Princess of Awesome!

Sumdac: You do realize one of them was just Optimus making fun of Sentinel and then Sentinel's severed arm breaking my daughter's camera.

Fanzone: That was the best one!

Sumdac: We'll use these for a blooper reel or something. I'm going to need you to do some serious ones.

Transformers& Sari: *groan*

Sumdac: Oh and Sari. Let's talk about that colorful language you had in the fifth one.

Sari: Aw, crap!

* * *

I sadly do not own Transformers or any of the Transformers. I also don't own 'Happy Song' by Liam Lynch, 'Now That We're Men' from Spongebob which belongs to Nick, or 'The Sailor Song' by Toy-Box. Peace!


End file.
